Facing breast cancer for the second time, Kelly shares what it’s really like to live in the in-between of gratitude and grief. As a mother and wife, she’s learned to advocate for herself, lean into her faith, and take each day as it comes. Her words are a reminder that it's okay to feel it all, and that healing is rarely linear.
Keep reading to hear Kelly's powerful story.
A Rollercoaster of Emotions
Breast Cancer and emotions are like riding a rollercoaster right now. I wake up not knowing what the day will bring. Most of the time I feel grateful to be alive and blessed to be able to hug and kiss my children and husband every day.
Some days I’m angry… angry I have to do this journey all over again. It seems unfair at times and in the same breath I see other friends with metastatic disease and consider myself very lucky.
Some days I feel so much joy and want to spend time with family and friends… other days I want to curl up in a fetal position on the couch and not move or see anyone.
I’m the happiest I’ve ever been and yet the saddest I’ve ever been. Emotions and cancer are complicated to say the least lol!
What My First Experience Taught Me
My first experience gave me so much knowledge about breast cancer! It made this 2nd experience so much smoother in regards to decision making and advocating for myself.
Knowing what questions to ask or just knowing what to expect in general has made a big difference. My treatment is very similar to last time… it’s almost like a 'been there, done that' kind of situation.
Even little things—like knowing what to pack for chemo, or making sure to get lidocaine cream for my port—have helped make the process feel more manageable.
Leaning Into Faith
I have learned to hold space for the hopeful emotions and give God the rest. The hard emotions tend to pile up and become too heavy to hold.
I have found that turning to faith and giving my worries and fears to God has helped tremendously. It keeps my light.
Still in the Thick of It
I wish I had the perfect advice for someone going through a recurrence, but the truth is I’m still very much in the thick of it and feeling all the feels.
As of right now, I’m taking one day at a time. The rollercoaster ride is fierce… with ups, downs, twists and unknowns. I’m holding on tight with so much hope and faith that the ride will eventually slow down and everything will be okay.
To learn more about Kelly's journey, follow her on Instagram.
Want to read more stories like Kelly's? Check out:
Rediscovering Myself After Breast Cancer: Michelle's Journey
Survivorship Without Expectations: Alicia's Breast Cancer Journey
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